Blood Sucking Bastards

Blood Sucking Bastards

(My personal free mosquito Botox)

I haven’t been sleeping well the last couple weeks.  The reason you ask?!  Fucking mosquitos!!  I know I live in paradise and all, but between these flying bloodsucking assholes and loud ass buffo toads right outside my windows, the idea of living landlocked on the mainland is looking up!  It’s never gonna happen, sorry mom.  So instead, I’ve been doing some research to annihilate these bitches from existence.  At least from my house.  I immediately turned to my right hand all natural bug killing reference, Big Lisa.  She’s a fellow bartender from the good ole SnapCrap as well as basically running  this all natural insect killing company.  This isn’t the first time I’ve called her in desperation, and guaranteed it won’t be the last.  The first time was for bed bugs.  This is an embarrassing thing to deal with, because right away you’re looking at me with your judgement of being a dirty person.  But let me just fill you in on something.  Here in Hawaii, we have a wide range of countries constantly visiting with possible stow aways and insects don’t die in this beautiful weather.  So bed bugs among other invasive life ruining bugs are common.  Lisa informed me that it would take 6 weeks to rid my bed and prevent my children’s bed from getting infested. Due to my OCD, I was free and clear in 2.  Her products are all natural and safe to be around my kids and little tiny dog(whom likes to poop in Lex's house).  So she suggested I use the all-purpose bug spray.

(photo credit: Wikipedia)

I as well looked up online how to stay bite free in the comfort of your own bed.  Unless that thing is radioactive and I start growing wings, an annoying whine and a taste for the blood of bad guys, I want it dead!  According to Native Americans, rancid bear grease works wonders. There’s no bears on this island that I know of, so scratch that.  There’s also the concoctions of Henry David Thoreau which is camphor, turpentine and spearmint oil.  He decided the smell was worse than the itch, so I guess that didn’t take off.  There’s the power of Avon with their Skin So Soft line, which does smell pretty good works well.  There’s DEET(why the whole word is always capitalized is beyond me and my research), and it works pretty well, in fact it’s one of the most preferred things to wear in the woods. However that shit is toxic, like more toxic than the venom of mosquitos themselves.  There’s reports of headaches, behavioral changes, disorientation and seizures.  Much like huffing paint. Not that I know anything about that.  Drugs kill people.  At the end of the day, these are all preventions whilst being outside in the mosquitos territory.  What about when those bitches come into your territory and keep you up all night scratching, swatting and straight up hunting the plumply blood filled flying demons?

(photo credit: Home Depot)

Lex tagged me in a video on Facebook that had a recipe for a concoction to mix in a two liter bottle with the top cut off.  You then reverse the top and insert it back into the bottle.  The idea here is that the annoying misery makers will fly in to check out this solution that’s supposed to be impossible for them to resist and not be able to fly back out.  I’m not even going to give out this recipe, because it’s bunk and a waste of your precious time.  As well as a waste of the household products you use to make it. Most importantly, I tried it and was still attacked.  Another thing that is supposed to help is Neem oil. According to Wikipedia, it’s used as a biopesticide in most organic farming as well as killing and repelling household pests(i.e. bed bugs, cockroaches, ants, termites and those all so horrible mosquitos). You can find different variations of Neem oil at your local Home Depot, Lowes, Walmart, etc.  

With all this information, I went with the natural bug spray from Big Lisa!  It’s called Cedar Bug-Free Household Bug Spray.  It’s safe and effective, kills on contact and most importantly keeps bugs out!  I sprayed this on all the screens in my house especially in my room and I was Botox free this morning(mosquito induced)!!  If you’re living on Maui, this product is sold in most of the Ace’s and some other random spots.  Or you could stop by the CrotchWatch on Monday nights and I’m sure Lisa would hook you up with a bottle.  For all you mainlanders, I’m pretty sure this shit is shipping to a store near you, but you can also check out the website cedarbugfree.com. This is just one of many great products that they offer.

In conclusion...

You’re welcome.

Far Out: Yazidi Religion

Far Out

 

photo credit: www.middle-east-online.com

 Yazidi Religion

Well we finished up our journey of sun signs with Leo and now we are embarking on a new endeavor.  For the weeks to come we will be delving into the different religions and what they believe in, we are going to bust some myths about them, and find out what they are going through in this cruel world where killing in the name of God seems to be an ongoing trend.  This week we are going to talk about a religion called Yazidi.

The Yazidi community is currently hiding out in the slopes of Iraq's Mount Sinjar where they are either fighting off dehydration or death at the hands of a group called ISIS. ( Those guys are a bunch of assholes) The Yazidi are a Kurdish speaking ethnoreligious community based in Northern Iraq who practice a syncretic religion (a combination of different forms of belief and practices).  Their beliefs are passed down by word of mouth by one generation to another.  

The Yazidis are misunderstood as devil worshipers but if you check out a man named Kassem who is the creator of the facebook page "Stop the yezidi genocide" you will be able to get a new perspective on this opinion.  Kassem says "That is not who we are.  We are one of the oldest, most peaceful religions in Iraq and have never had any problems.  We keep to ourselves and accept and appreciate every human being on Earth".

Here are some facts about the Yazidi's beliefs:

Yazidis believe that the world was created by God, who entrusted it to seven angels led by one known as the Peacock Angel, also called Melek Taus.  Melek Taus is represented by the peacock.    Their religion is Monotheistic ( a belief in one God) and non-dualistic (points to the essential oneness, a wholeness that exists here and now, prior to any apparent separation), they also do not believe in Hell.  They believe in internal purification through metempsychosis ( the transmigration of the soul) Yazidis believe that they come directly from Adam alone, while the rest of humanity comes from the lineage of both Adam and Eve.  The reason why some people believe that they are devil worshipers (which come on, they dont even believe in hell so how the fuck are they worshiping a devil?) is because they believe that once God created Adam and Eve, he ordered the angels to bow to his creations.  While the other angels did so, Melek Taus was the only one to refuse because he believed that he should submit to no one but the supreme God.  He was then thrown into Hell until his tears of remorse quenched the fires and he became reconciled with God.  He now serves as an intermediary between God and humanity.  

There is a similar story which is the story of Satan.  In the Islamic tradition Satan is a fallen angel who refused to bow down to Adam out of pride.  For this act, he was banished from Heaven and is now the devil.  Because these stories bear similarities apparently ISIS has taken it upon themselves to try and kill them all. 

Yazidis pray facing the sun at sunrise, noon, and sunset.  Wednesday is their holy day and Saturday is their day of rest.  They try to marry people within their community.

There is no justification for killing innocent human beings because of your own interpretation of their religion.  I think Jarod said it best on the show; "If your religion is telling you to kill people please start with yourself".  Amen.

Thanks for checking out our blog and for more great info on this matter check out our show.  Just scroll down and click play.  Enjoy!

GOOD TALK!!

GET STOOPID

Movie Pick

This week we took our kids to the theater to see Maleficent. What a great movie!!  

The movie was about the Evil Queen from Sleeping Beauty Maleficent, Angelina Jolie played the evil Queen and she did an amazing job!  This movie was the evil queens perspective on the whole sleeping beauty situay, and as we've seen time and time again there is always an asshole man behind every crazy women.  A bit of a man hating film and so we Loved it!  Hahaha worth paying the money to see in the theaters.  

Stream it

Lately when we're not watching The Game of Thrones, or Orange is the new black we've been watching True Detective.   You can stream it from your amazon prime if you've got one.  This is a crime Drama and an HBO series.  It stars Mathew McCaughney, Woody Harrelson, and several other people :) The series is about two homicide detectives who hunt a very nasty serial killer.  I love these type of detective, crime type of dramas obvi I loved Dexter.  This is a more melancholy type show.  Nothing really too funny in it.  The dialogue is great both Mathew and Woody do an excellent job playing their characters.  It's interesting and entertaining.  A great watch!  Cant wait to see the 2nd season.  

Website Pick

 So, you know when you’re scrolling through your crackbook feed and you see everyone taking these quizzes, and you’re like where the hell are all these quizzes coming from?!  Unless you are the quiz taker and poster…. Well, we found some, and I don’t think they’re the ones you see on Facebook, but they’re pretty awesome.  I’m talking about a little website called the oatmeal.com.  It’s not just quizzes, they also focus on comics.  You can choose your category such as cats, grammar, food, animals or tech.  There’s also the option of getting random ones or searching through all of them.  Either way, they’re pretty funny and worth checkin out.  

They as well have books for sale that look hilarious like, 5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth.  If you’re a Lex and Mais regular you might remember our lil report on how dolphins are evil sex crazed mammals and deserve a punch to the mouth, so we just might purchase this title.  You can also check out their blog and  shop through their shirts, posters, mugs, stickers etc.  I think my favorite part of this website is their greeting cards. Mais has already created my own set of cards and made her first purchase, I suggest you do the same.  And if you receive a hilariously creepy card from Mais in the mail?! You’re welcome!

App Pick

Our app this week is a personal favorite of for both of us, it's called Any.do. It's a list making app. Hello we love to make lists.  The great thing about this is that you can have your lists on you at all times.  This app is free, it can link to your calendars, it can send you reminders, and you can invite people to events . It will send them an email or a message, and it's available on both the iPhone and the android. It's a goodie. 

Runners block

A lack of will or reason to run. It often lasts weeks. It's comparable to Writers Block 

"I only ran 2 miles tonight because I just can't get past my runner's block"

Thanks for checking out our blog.  If you have the time come check out our show, just scroll down.

GOOD TALK!!

Get Stoopid

Photo Credit: sydney.concreteplayground.com.au

Get Stoopid

Movie Pick

This week we made it to the theaters and watched Bad Neighbours.  This movie was pretty hilarious. It's starring Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne, Zac Efron, and Dave Franco.  Seth Rogen plays the husband his name is Mac and his wife Kelly played by Rose Byrne bought a lovely new home in a nice quiet subdivisoion with dreams of being great parents to their baby.  The next door house is up for sale and they notice someone bought the place and are moving in and guess who it is?  Well its a frat house.  Of course it has to be the biggest party frat house and of course they are loud and proud.  And this is where the war begins...Definitely worth a watch.

RedBox Pick

Photo Credit:  www.heyuguys.co.uk

Because we can't always make it to the movies, and we didn't make it to see this one we rented  Secret Life of Walter Mitty from the good ol redbox.  Great movie.   This was originally a short story turned into a movie.  This movie is starring and was directed by Ben Stiller.  Its' about a man who escapes his reality by daydreaming.  When his job along with his co-workers job is threatened he takes action in the real world.  This movie was full of adventure and fun.  

Website Pick

Photo Credit:  www.frugalcouponliving.com

Great company and great ideas.  I really love the idea of getting something delivered to me once a month.  I love getting stuff in the mail besides the regular old bills and junk. Honest company gives you a free trial.  The diapers and wipes bundle is part of that you get 6 bags of diapers the diapers are eco friendly, ultra absorbent, and really cute, with 4 packs of non toxic, non scented wipes.  A great baby shower gift for a mom to be. The essential bundle is part of the free trial and it includes shampoo and body wash, face and body lotion, multi surface cleaner, healing balm and hand soap.  Now that is a lot of stuff.  

Mais is actually a member of the Honest company, which was founded by Jessica Alba.  She's recieved her free sample of the essentials pack and immediately went online to schedule my first essential shipment.  It came in like two days, and I love the products.  There’s no fee for joining or for canceling and you can schedule your shipment date out as far as you want so it’s not a mandatory monthly situation.  The only bad thing I can say about it is that the company is still small, so shipping to Hawaii is quite expensive.  $30 expensive, so I’ve had to put my account on hold. 

However if you’re in the continental US you can get free shipping over $35 I believe, as well as free gifts.  I plan to schedule a shipment to the mainland when I take a trip back this summer, so I am still a supporter of this company.  Hopefully they will become a bigger company and be able to ship to the middle of pacific at some point!

App Pick

Photo Credit: fitinapps.com

This app is to help track your monthly period cycles which I specifically think is like the best idea in the entire world.  Let's face it ladies we can become overly sensitive and bitchy at a certain time of the month.  Yea it is the most annoying thing for someone to ask you "are you going to start your period?" but now you'll be able to look at this lovely new app and find out.  It'll tell you how many days approximately until your next period so you'll know whether you are just PMSing and maybe need a nice bath and some self love or if the people in your life are genuinely assholes.

Basic Bitch

A bum-ass woman who think she the shit but really ain't 

Example #1 If you step up in the club with them fresh heals on, cold done, and the back of yo ankles ashy.. yous a basic bitch 

Example #2 if you walk like a bitch, talk like a bitch and get mad when somebody call u a bitch... you a basic bitch 

Thanks so much for checking out our blog.  Please check out our podcast.  Just scroll down and hit play.  Enjoy!

GOOD TALK

Get Stoopid

GET STOOPID

Stream It:

Photo credit: Tv.com

Lex has really been enjoying this wonderful series on netflix called fringe.  It is a science fiction series and it is wild.  The series follows Olivia Dunhm played by Anna Torv, Peter Bishop played by Joshua Jackson, and Walter Bishop played by John Noble.  They all work for the FBI in a division called Fringe.  Fringe uses fringe science and FBI investigative techniques to investigate a series of unexplained occurrences.  I mean strange things that happen that you ain't gonna see on the news kinda shit such as, walking through time, opening doorways to parallel universes, and so much more.  This is a great series to watch straight through because there is so much going on and every season connects something with the new series and it is a really AWESOME story.  The characters do a great job acting and really making you care for each of them.   Def worth watching.

Website:

Here's a great website that I believe may be our new favorite website, it’s called 

AGoodMovietoWatch.com.  Pretty self explanatory it gives you a variety of different movies to watch rather than just making a guess on Netflix or whatever streaming system you are using. Pretty useful!  It gives you their ratings of the movie as well as gives you the links to places like rotten tomatoes so you can read different reviews of the movie. It gives a small description so you know what its about and you can rate the movie yourself after you've watched it.  Once you pick a movie, you can use this site called CanIStreamIt.com to find out if and where you can stream the movie.  These two go hand in hand, we love it.  Thank you internet.

Movie:

Photo credit: imbd.com

The movie we picked out was extremely bizarre its called Mr. Nobody and we found it off the a good movie to watch website.  It streams off of Netflix.  It stars Jared Leto.  Basically the movie is about the realm of all possibilities depending on our choices. Mr. Nobody felt like a pivotal time in his life was when his parents split up and he had to make the decision on which parent to chose to go with.  The movie goes on to show the outcomes of all possible choices and all possible futures.  

App:

Run Keeper

Photo Credit:  play.google.com

This app helps you to keep track of how far you've actually ran so you don't let yourself give up before your goals.

Smegma

Smegma is a waxy like white stuff that is on the uncircumcised penis, and if not cleaned daily it will get very cake like and start to smell.

"Your smegma smells"

Thanks so much for checking out our blog.  Feel free to scroll down and listen to the podcast.  Enjoy!

GOOD TALK

Jar Salads are easy and delicious

Lately I've been noticing that several different people on my social media sights are prepping their meals for the whole week in one day.  Every time I see them posting pictures of their organized little tupperware's, jars, and foil baking tins I feel a certain envy for that kind of organization and dedication to their diets.  I always tell myself that I am just not "that" kind of person and that I'd never be able to have the time to organize a whole weeks worth of dinners in one night, it seems like a daunting task.  

One day I was doing my morning routine and stumbled across a blog thekitchn.com and the main theme for the day was how to make a jar salad.  I thought "now what a great idea for work lunches".  I do massage for a living and most of the time you can't leave or it's not affordable to leave and get lunch, but doing massage makes me so hungry so I've gotta pack a lunch. I am always looking for new ideas and treats for my lunch so it's less boring and these jar salads really perked my interest.  I decided to try a few.  My sweetie Kala calls these Jalads.  She's been making them for her lunch for awhile now.

One of the best tips I have ever received is to wash my produce as soon as I bring it in from the store before I put it away in the fridge.  It saves me so much time in the long run. Because of that little tip the salad jars were super easy and quick to make.  I started off with a very simple salad.  On the bottom I used this dressing that I got from Costco called Miso dressing  (it is THE BOMB dressing), next I put little tomatoes and diced cucumbers, then in went the quinoa. I suggest quinoa for any and all salads it is packed with protein and it is delicious,  next I put in this salad mix that i also got from costco because it has spinach, kale, and chard now that's a healthy salad mix.

 I love cheese! Oh I love all sorts of different cheeses I love goat cheese, I love feta cheese, I love blue cheese, I love gureyere, I love Brie and well you get the picture so on top of the salad mix I added some feta cheese.  I made four jars on my first try. I was so happy the next morning when I was getting ready for work and my lunch was already ready to go and when lunch time came I was in Salad heaven.  It was so good I had to do a happy dance.

 On my next attempt at jar salads I made 8 of them, we've been having at least one salad a day now and it feels great!  It's perfect for the kids because it is already pre made so they can just take out the jar, shake the salad, and then put it in a bowl.   I came up with  three different recipes for the jar salads, that way you can always have a few different options.

Kale Salad.  I got this recipe from a local health food store called Mana.  It is super healthy and super good.  My two year old loves it.

First I make the dressing:

Oil
Braggs (or soy sauce)
Lemon
Sweet Thai Chili Sauce
salt

You put the dressing on the bottom of the jar
Next I add little tomatoes and cucumbers
add the quinoa
Sunflower seeds
cranberries or golden raisins
shredded carrots
chopped Kale

Mais is a salad dressing making genius.  Her salads are sooo delicious so here's one of her favorite recipes.

Dressing:

Oil
Vinegar
A little bit of Miso Dressing
A fruit she's been using pear

Blend these ingredients up

Dressing goes on the bottom
Carrots
shredded beets
snap peas
salad mix
Fetta cheese


Chef Salad

In the bottom of the jar add whichever dressing you'd prefer.  For whatever reason I love ranch on my chefs salad but that's just me.

add the tomatoes
olives sliced
salad mix
Hard boiled egg chopped
bacon
Ham
Shredded swiss cheese

If you're a veggie you could use tofu instead of ham and there is some really great tempeh bacon in place of the bacon.

I prefer bringing my croutons in a separate bag because they tend to get soggy in the jar.

I think I might be on to something here, maybe pre making isn't as hard as I thought.  Who knows maybe I'll be pre-making dinners next. I guess I just might be becoming "one of those people" hahahahaha. Thank you for stopping by the blog.  Enjoy!

Good Talk!!

What's For Dinner? Seared Ahi Tuna Poke Salad with Hula Ginger Vinagrette + Wonton Crisps

Photo Credit: Halfbakedharvest.com

This is the BEST salad!  It is easy to make, it's filling yet light, and it is DELIC!!  It is perfect for a yummy easy dinner.  Enjoy!!  Thanks Pinterest and Halfbakedharvest.com For this awesome recipe.

Seared Ahi Tuna Poke

20 square wonton wrappers, cut into strips (use corn tortillas to make this gluten free)

2 ahi tuna steaks

1/4 cup soy sauce

1 teaspoon corn starch

1/4 cup pineapple juice

1/4 cup honey

1 teaspoon chile garlic sauce or sriracha

2 tablespoons black and white sesame seeds, toasted

Salad

4-8 cup spring greens

1/2 cup fresh cilantro

1 cup fresh pineapple, diced

1 jalapeno or red chile, sliced

Hula Ginger vinaigrette

1/2 cup hot chile sesame oil or toasted sesame oil

1/4 cup soy sauce

2 tablespoons pineapple juice

2 tablespoon rice vinegar

1 teaspoon chile garlic sauce or sriracha (or more to taste)

1 tablespoon tahini

1 lime, zested + juiced

2 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated

1 clove garlic, grated or minced

back and white sesame seeds, toasted

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Arrange the wonton strips in a single layer (or as best you can get them) on a greased baking sheet. Spray the wontons with olive oil spray and a good sprinkle of sea salt. Bake in the preheated oven for 5-10 minutes, watching them closely to make sure they don't burn. They are done when they are a light golden color and crisp. Remove from the oven and set aside.
3. In a small sauce pot mix together 1/4 cup soy sauce and 1 teaspoon cornstarch until smooth. Add 1/4 cup pineapple juice, 1/4 cup honey and 1 teaspoon chile garlic sauce. Place the pot on the stove over medium heat and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer 3-4 minutes until the sauce is just beginning to thicken and coat the back of a spoon. Remove from the heat.
4. Heat a large cast iron skillet on high and add the sesame oil. Sear the tuna steaks in the skillet for 1-2 minutes, flip and brush the seared side with the soy sauce mixture. Sear another minute or 2 and then remove the steaks from the pan, brushing them with the remaining soy sauce mixture. Slice into strips.
5. Combine the spring greens, cilantro, pineapple chunks and jalapeño (or red chile) in a bowl and toss.
6. In another small bowl make the vinaigrette. Combine the hot chile sesame oil, soy sauce, pineapple juice, rice vinegar, chile garlic sauce, tahini, 1 teaspoon lime zest and the juice of 1 lime, the fresh ginger and garlic. Add 1-2 tablespoons black and white sesame seeds.
7. Divide the greens among plates. Top with tuna, avocado slices and wonton crisps. Drizzle with the vinaigrette. Dig in!

While your making dinner tonight check out our show.  It's a goodie!!  Thanks for checking out our blog.

Good Talk!!