Valentines
So I’ve spent quite a few Valentines days alone, even when I wasn’t single. It can be a depressing time of year, so I tried looking up activities for the single folk on this dreadful holiday to share with y’all. I found a few lists, but I decided to come up with my own.
- Get drunk. Alcohol can really help or hurt different situations, so maybe get some counsel from your closest girlfriend to make sure this option is for you. There’s always plenty of single hussies going out on the town on V-Day, so you might as well get drunk and join them! You never know, you might just meet the love of your life that night. Probably not, but maybe you’ve already mastered activity number two and got a great outfit that should be seen. Remember, red is the color men find the most sexy!
- Go shopping. Retail therapy is a proven solution to depression. It’s my favorite way to put myself in a better mood, so why not spoil yourself on the good ole Saint Valentine’s Day! It doesn’t have to be clothing, you could purchase yourself new bedding and be happy as shit to come home and curl up with a new body pillow while you catch up on all the past Vikings episodes. It’s worth all the blood and gore to get a glimpse of those hotties!! Travis Fimmel for instance, wow! Maybe you have a hard time spending money....refer to number one and get a lil drunk first, works every time.
- Prank phone calls. My good friend Mariah has peaked my love for pranking people once again, and I just can’t get enough. This is a great follow up activity to number 1….alcohol, or whatever, will definitely enhance the quality and topics of your phone calls.
- Tinder it up! There’s plenty of single horn dogs on Tinder, I’ve seen them, and they’re always happy to meet up. Maybe you’re not into the one night stand, but at least you could check out a movie together, or return to activity number 1 together. When in doubt, get drunk!
- Send out some dicks with Ship-a-dick! If you haven’t already checked out this phenomenon of sending your friends and family a 29 inch holiday specialized dick, it is time. How better to get over that dick then to send him a message of a dick. If you’re feeling bad about doing this….get drunk. Liquid courage usually turns the sweetest person into the biggest dick, thus giving you the balls to ship some dicks!!
- Work. That's what I'm doin.
Remember all you lovers out there…..when you fear the worst, safety first! Have a happy and safe Valentine’s Day!
Good Talk!
