Blood Sucking Bastards

Blood Sucking Bastards

(My personal free mosquito Botox)

I haven’t been sleeping well the last couple weeks.  The reason you ask?!  Fucking mosquitos!!  I know I live in paradise and all, but between these flying bloodsucking assholes and loud ass buffo toads right outside my windows, the idea of living landlocked on the mainland is looking up!  It’s never gonna happen, sorry mom.  So instead, I’ve been doing some research to annihilate these bitches from existence.  At least from my house.  I immediately turned to my right hand all natural bug killing reference, Big Lisa.  She’s a fellow bartender from the good ole SnapCrap as well as basically running  this all natural insect killing company.  This isn’t the first time I’ve called her in desperation, and guaranteed it won’t be the last.  The first time was for bed bugs.  This is an embarrassing thing to deal with, because right away you’re looking at me with your judgement of being a dirty person.  But let me just fill you in on something.  Here in Hawaii, we have a wide range of countries constantly visiting with possible stow aways and insects don’t die in this beautiful weather.  So bed bugs among other invasive life ruining bugs are common.  Lisa informed me that it would take 6 weeks to rid my bed and prevent my children’s bed from getting infested. Due to my OCD, I was free and clear in 2.  Her products are all natural and safe to be around my kids and little tiny dog(whom likes to poop in Lex's house).  So she suggested I use the all-purpose bug spray.

(photo credit: Wikipedia)

I as well looked up online how to stay bite free in the comfort of your own bed.  Unless that thing is radioactive and I start growing wings, an annoying whine and a taste for the blood of bad guys, I want it dead!  According to Native Americans, rancid bear grease works wonders. There’s no bears on this island that I know of, so scratch that.  There’s also the concoctions of Henry David Thoreau which is camphor, turpentine and spearmint oil.  He decided the smell was worse than the itch, so I guess that didn’t take off.  There’s the power of Avon with their Skin So Soft line, which does smell pretty good works well.  There’s DEET(why the whole word is always capitalized is beyond me and my research), and it works pretty well, in fact it’s one of the most preferred things to wear in the woods. However that shit is toxic, like more toxic than the venom of mosquitos themselves.  There’s reports of headaches, behavioral changes, disorientation and seizures.  Much like huffing paint. Not that I know anything about that.  Drugs kill people.  At the end of the day, these are all preventions whilst being outside in the mosquitos territory.  What about when those bitches come into your territory and keep you up all night scratching, swatting and straight up hunting the plumply blood filled flying demons?

(photo credit: Home Depot)

Lex tagged me in a video on Facebook that had a recipe for a concoction to mix in a two liter bottle with the top cut off.  You then reverse the top and insert it back into the bottle.  The idea here is that the annoying misery makers will fly in to check out this solution that’s supposed to be impossible for them to resist and not be able to fly back out.  I’m not even going to give out this recipe, because it’s bunk and a waste of your precious time.  As well as a waste of the household products you use to make it. Most importantly, I tried it and was still attacked.  Another thing that is supposed to help is Neem oil. According to Wikipedia, it’s used as a biopesticide in most organic farming as well as killing and repelling household pests(i.e. bed bugs, cockroaches, ants, termites and those all so horrible mosquitos). You can find different variations of Neem oil at your local Home Depot, Lowes, Walmart, etc.  

With all this information, I went with the natural bug spray from Big Lisa!  It’s called Cedar Bug-Free Household Bug Spray.  It’s safe and effective, kills on contact and most importantly keeps bugs out!  I sprayed this on all the screens in my house especially in my room and I was Botox free this morning(mosquito induced)!!  If you’re living on Maui, this product is sold in most of the Ace’s and some other random spots.  Or you could stop by the CrotchWatch on Monday nights and I’m sure Lisa would hook you up with a bottle.  For all you mainlanders, I’m pretty sure this shit is shipping to a store near you, but you can also check out the website cedarbugfree.com. This is just one of many great products that they offer.

In conclusion...

You’re welcome.

Far Out: Yazidi Religion

Far Out

 

photo credit: www.middle-east-online.com

 Yazidi Religion

Well we finished up our journey of sun signs with Leo and now we are embarking on a new endeavor.  For the weeks to come we will be delving into the different religions and what they believe in, we are going to bust some myths about them, and find out what they are going through in this cruel world where killing in the name of God seems to be an ongoing trend.  This week we are going to talk about a religion called Yazidi.

The Yazidi community is currently hiding out in the slopes of Iraq's Mount Sinjar where they are either fighting off dehydration or death at the hands of a group called ISIS. ( Those guys are a bunch of assholes) The Yazidi are a Kurdish speaking ethnoreligious community based in Northern Iraq who practice a syncretic religion (a combination of different forms of belief and practices).  Their beliefs are passed down by word of mouth by one generation to another.  

The Yazidis are misunderstood as devil worshipers but if you check out a man named Kassem who is the creator of the facebook page "Stop the yezidi genocide" you will be able to get a new perspective on this opinion.  Kassem says "That is not who we are.  We are one of the oldest, most peaceful religions in Iraq and have never had any problems.  We keep to ourselves and accept and appreciate every human being on Earth".

Here are some facts about the Yazidi's beliefs:

Yazidis believe that the world was created by God, who entrusted it to seven angels led by one known as the Peacock Angel, also called Melek Taus.  Melek Taus is represented by the peacock.    Their religion is Monotheistic ( a belief in one God) and non-dualistic (points to the essential oneness, a wholeness that exists here and now, prior to any apparent separation), they also do not believe in Hell.  They believe in internal purification through metempsychosis ( the transmigration of the soul) Yazidis believe that they come directly from Adam alone, while the rest of humanity comes from the lineage of both Adam and Eve.  The reason why some people believe that they are devil worshipers (which come on, they dont even believe in hell so how the fuck are they worshiping a devil?) is because they believe that once God created Adam and Eve, he ordered the angels to bow to his creations.  While the other angels did so, Melek Taus was the only one to refuse because he believed that he should submit to no one but the supreme God.  He was then thrown into Hell until his tears of remorse quenched the fires and he became reconciled with God.  He now serves as an intermediary between God and humanity.  

There is a similar story which is the story of Satan.  In the Islamic tradition Satan is a fallen angel who refused to bow down to Adam out of pride.  For this act, he was banished from Heaven and is now the devil.  Because these stories bear similarities apparently ISIS has taken it upon themselves to try and kill them all. 

Yazidis pray facing the sun at sunrise, noon, and sunset.  Wednesday is their holy day and Saturday is their day of rest.  They try to marry people within their community.

There is no justification for killing innocent human beings because of your own interpretation of their religion.  I think Jarod said it best on the show; "If your religion is telling you to kill people please start with yourself".  Amen.

Thanks for checking out our blog and for more great info on this matter check out our show.  Just scroll down and click play.  Enjoy!

GOOD TALK!!